


Mating Interrupted

by Sarah1281



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Humor, old fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-04-18 22:31:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4722785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarah1281/pseuds/Sarah1281
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Samara quickly puts a stop to her daughter's attempt to love Shepard to death and the resulting reunion is rather tense, especially with Shepard there saying things no one wants to hear like how being evil doesn't mean you're no longer related...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mating Interrupted

**Author's Note:**

> This was pretty much inspired by Morinth's 'And people call me a monster' line when her mother shows up to kill her, as if killing an unrepentant serial killer was any sort of moral dilemma.

Shepard was a bit nervous as she sat uncomfortably close to Morinth on the couch of her apartment, waiting to either die a very pleasurable but violent death or for Samara to hurry up and gatecrash.

"So you like Hallex, the Elcor artist Forta, Vaenia, and Expel 10?" Morinth was saying, sounding impressed. "You, my dear, have excellent taste. You know, it almost seems like you've been tailored to match my interests."

Shepard coughed awkwardly. "Really? That's very strange. I wonder if you're not the one who's matching my answers because I'm the one who is bringing up my interests and you just have to agree that what I like is awesome. Which it is. And your pretend suspicion could just be a way to throw me off the track."

"Perhaps we're trying to match each other's answers but there is little need because we have so much in common," Morinth suggested.

"That would certainly be convenient," Shepard agreed.

"Normally I like to draw my courtships out for a few weeks but you look like a traveler," Morinth said slowly. "So I'm just going to come right out and ask: do you want to mate with me?"

"Mate?" Shepard repeated blankly. "I'm a little reckless to be a father. Not to mention a little female…"

"No need to worry about that," Morinth assured her. "I can't actually have children."

"Then we really can't 'mate'," Shepard pointed out.

Morinth rolled her eyes. "Well, if you must be crude, I just want to have sex with you."

"You want a one-night stand but you think calling it 'sex' is crude," Shepard said incredulously, her eyebrows disappearing into her hairline.

"Yes, yes I am," Morinth confirmed, not caring just how bizarre that was. "So how about it? Do you want to have sex-" Morinth made a face at the offending term "- with me?"

"I don't know," Shepard mused. "You seem like a sexually deviant prude and that kind of freaks me out."

"Oh come on…" Morinth cajoled. She paused. "What's your name again?"

"No means no, Morinth," Samara declared, bursting through the door.

"Were you listening to us?" Shepard demanded. "Why didn't you come in earlier?"

"Mother?" Morinth, sounding shocked and slightly embarrassed, jumped to her feet.

"Having your mother walk in while you're trying to seduce someone whose name you don't even know has GOT to be uncomfortable," Shepard said unnecessarily.

"I am NOT your mother!" Samara cried out as she used her biotic powers to send her not-daughter flying into the wall behind her.

"Just because you've spent the last four hundred years trying to kill me doesn't mean we're not related," Morinth pointed out, struggling to get free.

"I no longer consider you a daughter because you've made your choice and are now a monster," Samara sniffed.

"I'm not a 'genetic defect'," Morinth hissed. "I am the future of the Asari race!"

"I thought you said you couldn't have children," Shepard cut in. "Did you lie to me as well as attempt to kill me? Because seriously, there's such a thing as overkill."

"Once my mother stops hunting me, I can look into getting that fixed," Morinth replied.

"Morinth is lying," Samara disagreed. "The Asari would have no future if we were all like her."

"Oh, here we go again," Morinth said with a long-suffering sigh. "You want to kill me because of the gifts you gave me."

"I did offer you a life of seclusion," Samara felt compelled to defend herself.

"Um, Morinth?" Shepard said hesitantly. "I could be wrong, but I don't think your genes are why your mother is chasing you."

"Please stop calling me that," Samara requested.

"Really?" Morinth asked skeptically, pointedly ignoring her mother's denial of their relation. "Because I was only offered death or, as my dear mother just reminded me, seclusion. I don't want to live a life of privileged, pampered isolation. I did what I had to do, I went on the run when I was only forty, and I regret nothing."

"Okay, I get you guys live to be over a thousand and all, but you've seriously got to stop trying to convince everyone that forty is actually young. You must have been an adult at the time or you'd never have noticed your…abnormality," Shepard said delicately. "Just so you know, I'M not even forty. Salarians rarely live past forty. It really doesn't hold the same resonance 'ran away at fifteen' does for humans."

"But we're so inexperienced at forty," Samara protested. "I think I was still a virgin…"

"If you guys are inexperienced then it is your own damn fault," Shepard insisted. "After all, it's plenty of time for other species to experience things. Asari may think that's young, but not everyone lives for a freaking millennia."

"Okay, fine," Morinth sulked. "Don't think it's impressive I became independent at forty. But how can you possibly claim that my condition is not why my mother's out to kill me? You don't exactly see her denying it."

"She's also kind of pretending she doesn't know you, so that really doesn't necessarily mean anything," Shepard countered.

"You have a point," Morinth acknowledged. "What is your theory?"

"You just wondering around and exploring the galaxy does not make you a threat to anyone," Shepard claimed.

"I beg to differ," Samara disagreed.

Morinth jumped right on that. "See? She's admitting you're wrong."

"I'm not finished," Shepard said, annoyed. "If you were doing just that, you wouldn't be a threat. But you're not. You're going around deliberately killing people when you sleep with them."

"It's not my fault they die!" Morinth objected. "What do you want me to do? Live a pious life of celibacy?"

Samara and Shepard exchanged a look. "Yes."

"That's hardly fair," Morinth complained. "Are YOU living that kind of life?"

"Commander Shepard is currently testing the sexuality of everyone on the Normandy," Samara replied innocently.

"Kaidan's dating too!" Shepard said defensively.

" 'Dating' is not quite the word I would use to describe it," Samara responded dryly. "And half of them are in love with you."

Shepard looked put-out. "I told them I wasn't looking for a relationship. If they don't listen, it's really not my fault."

"So you yourself are having a great deal of sex but you want me to abstain?" Morinth asked, narrowing her eyes at the Commander.

"Well…yeah," Shepard admitted. "You having sex invariably involves death. Likewise, should I ever catch an STD, I'll put a hold on things until I'm cured."

"Morinth can't help it; she's addicted," Samara explained.

"Well, if she'd stopped after the first time she discovered she was lethal in bed, she probably wouldn't be," Shepard pointed out. "Or failing that, she could advertise that she could give people death by sex and how much they'd enjoy it and watch the terminally ill line up. It would probably be more fun than an injection at any rate. Or if there were prisoners to execute…"

"A nice thought, to be sure, but it's a little late for that," Samara declared, finally tiring of seeing her daughter pinned to the wall and using her powers to throw her onto the floor instead.

"Help me!" Morinth entreated as she sent her own wave of power back at her mother.

"Me?" Shepard asked, greatly surprised. "But I came here with your mother, remember? She's my crewmate and asked for my help to kill you."

"You would help her to murder her own flesh and blood?" Morinth tried appealing to Shepard's sentiment. Tragically, Shepard was getting used to working with Cerberus.

"Why not?" she replied with a shrug. "I helped clear Tali of a pesky treason charge, which was actually serious, but I also helped Grunt through puberty, rescued Mordin's not-really-kidnapped friend, helped Jack blow up an abandoned building on the other side of the galaxy, facilitated a family reunion for both Jacob and Thane, fixed a computer virus, went grocery shopping, bought some alcohol and proceeded to get smashed, got some fancier maintenance equipment, and helped Miranda's sister move."

Morinth stared at her uncomprehending for a few seconds. "Seriously, do you have nothing better to do with your time?"

"Not really," Shepard replied.

"You're supposed to be saving the galaxy," Samara's Justicar Code compelled her to remind the Commander.

"I'll get around to it," Shepard said dismissively.

"If you help me, I'll mate with you," Morinth offered seductively.

"You already tried to mate with me," Shepard pointed out. "And do you not remember that we just spent the lasts ten minutes discussing how if I did mate with you it would kill me?"

""You're so strong-willed, you'll probably be fine," Morinth argued.

Shepard drew back, stunned. " You have abnormal genetics that kill people when you have sex with them. How does WILL play a part in that?"

"I don't know," Morinth scowled. "But I've never mated with anyone who could resist me as you do."

Shepard quickly shook her head. "I am SO not willing risk it. If I absolutely must sleep with an Asari and your mom still isn't interested, I can always track down Liara on Illium."

"So… is that a 'no'?" Morinth asked uncertainly, unused to being rejected.

"Yes, it's a 'no'!" Shepard exclaimed.

Samara took that opportunity to force her daughter back to the floor and place her foot on the girl's throat. "Glad to hear it," she said, pressing down.

"MUST you kill everyone that way?" Shepard asked tiredly. "It's like you have some sort of fetish, I swear…"


End file.
